03/09/02 - I have decided not to ask out anyone from work at this time. Partially because there's a chance she might not be single, but more because I got to thinking about it, and if I asked her out I'd just be settling, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that. I don't really want to go out with her. I've just been tired of not meeting anyone, and only going out with guy friends. Thought I have to admit, the Stars game I went to last night was pretty damn cool. A coworker had an extra ticket yesterday so I went. It was the first hockey game I'd ever been to. They were pretty good seats. I think the face value was $140. Dallas lost, but it was still fun for me. As most of you know, I'm not a true Texan anyway.

03/06/02 - Today I did something I can be moderately proud of. In my third class of the day, which is Health/Fitness, I headed to the weight room and hopped on the treadmill, just like I've done every Monday and Wednesday for the last month or so, since Texas decided to get cold. And after warming up for 15 minutes I suddenly though, "Hey, it's only in the 60s today. I think I'll go back outside to thr track." This is a grass track, which is extra nice for my shitty shins. So I got to the track started my stopwatch and ran. It was strange. I didn't feel like I was straining, but I felt like I was running pretty fast. Halfway through my first lap I looked down at my watch and saw 00:43. Okay, 43 seconds for half of a lap. That's better than 10 mph. I've never run a mile in 6 minutes, which is what I would do if I kept this pace up. I don't usually run one mile straight through. I either run intervals (fast/slow/fast/slow/etc.), or I run for a long distance which slows my pace. When I was in high school my best time at the mile was barely under 10 minutes, and now when I run 3+ miles I'm usually around 8:15-8:45 per mile. So instantly I thought, "Hey, I should see if I can run a mile in 6 minutes." So I continued, and went into the second turn of the track, right into a 20 mph wind! Woah boy. :) No wonder that first half was so easy. But I continued. I checked my watch every half lap to make sure I was staying on pace, and much to my surprise, I was! I strolled in to finish my last lap at 5:58. This brings me to my next news.
Because of advice from 2 instructors and some of my readings, I'm once again postponing my marathon goal. Not that anyone out there cares. With my required weight training, Taekwon-do, and school/work schedule, it's just not realistic to try for a marathon at this time. When the long runs start to take more than an hour I just won't have time for them. And I won't have time for the recovery of runs over 18 miles. So I'm going to stick to basic conditioning for now, and maybe run some short races, 10k and under.
Thinking about my work options a little more today I thought back to the modeling scout who contacted me last spring, and a film scoring competition that should be coming up soon. I'm going to get a few days off for spring break soon, so this should be a good time for me to check things out. The modeling agency is easy enough to contact. I'll still have to go in for a lookover though, and then I'm sure there will be tedious shoots for my portfolio and jobs, should the decide to take me on. If not, they can fuck themselves and I'll just have to become famous for something else, like my mind.

03/05/02 - Have you ever been so bored that you thought about dying? Not about death, or what it will be like someday far in the future, but more like just killing yourself because everything in your life is so dull that you just don't want to put up with it? Today at work I got so incredibly pissed at the way things are run and how work is constantly thrown at me, not because it's my responsibility, but because other people are too lazy, or because they're just not fast enough. So we burden our best workers and fuck them over with bigger loads instead of improving our piss poor workers. Does this seem right to you? Me neither. So I got to thinking, I hate my job and I want out. But I need the money. I need to be able to work around my class schedule. I've had friends that tell me they make as much money or more than I do right now waiting tables. Okay, and I know generally restaurants have flexible hours. But for the better restaurants you generally need experience at waiting, and I have none. Someone else from work suggested Home Depot. That's another retail store, and I doubt it would be much better for me. And I also doubt they'd pay as much as my current job. So this is what I was thinking. And something snapped. I glimpsed at my life over the next 2-3 years while I'm trying to finish my degree, working this damn job, going crazy. So I though, "Damn, I really don't want this. How the Hell can I get out of it though?" And for some fucked up reason I thought I'd be better off dead. I'm pretty sure that's a load of crap, because someday this will pay off, right? Right?
After work I got a haircut. The bitch seemed to enjoy using the blow dryer to blow all of the hair from the cover thingy right down my shirt. And because she just put gel in I haven't felt like showering to get the hair off of me, but it's bugging the crap out of me now, so I'm gonna try one of those shower things. You know, with the water and soap.

03/04/02 - In life, we all like to feel that we are unique, and that no matter what no other person is just like us. About a month ago while checking search engines for my site I came across another Andy Millott. Does that blow or what? Okay, so it's not as bad as Michael Bolton in Office Space (which you should watch), but it still stinks. Then tonight at poetry.com I found another Samantha Millott, which is my sister's name. Different middle names however. Several years back my brother and sister heard of a Robert Millott at U of Florida, which is my father's name. Jesus Christ! Oh yeah. I bet there are two of him as well.

03/02/02 - Through the night and into the morning icy slush came down. It covered the streets, sidewalks, and my just-cleaned car. The wind chill has been in the single digits all day, and tonight it won't change. My running plans are fucked. I don't own any running clothes that will keep me warm in this weather.
I took care of the auto insurance problem. They charged my bank account already, which pisses me off thoroughly, but it should be cleared Monday.

02/26/02 (part 2) - Well, I just checked on my car insurance so I could get a copy of my info, and I discovered that the bastards raised my rates by more than !!! And they're just adding it to my next 4 payments. Sorry, but I can't afford a payment. I emailed them and told them that I can't, and won't pay it, because when I have to decide between food and Esurance, I choose food. Beware. Esurance will fuck you over.

02/26/02 - Today's my big brother's birthday. Not that I have a little brother or anything. He's an ancient 28. I'd tell you what I got him, but he reads this and I know his present won't get to him for another day or two.
Did anyone watch Boston Public last night? They discussed the use of the word "nigger", sometimes pronounced "nigga" by African Americans and "wiggers". If you don't know what a wigger is, ask someone. I didn't make the word up or anything, but it's is derived from "nigger". Anyway, the thing about that episode that pissed me off was how the black people state that it's racist for a white person to say "nigger", but they failed to acknowledge how racist that very idea is. Dudes, racism blows donkey dick long time. But I agree with Trey Parker that hate crime legislation is totally wack, yo!
I still need to run tonight. The wind chill tonight is in the single digits, so I'm probably going to stick to the treadmill. I hate the treadmill.
I wish I had some clever non-news to talk about tonight, but I'm cold and actually working on a new piece of music, so you'll have to excuse me.

02/24/02 - It's 12:56 am so I'm going to make this quick. I should have been in bed a couple hours ago. I got out of work today a little early because I went in early to make a delivery. After work I rushed home, made some dinner, ate, changed clothes, then picked up a friend from work to play tennis. After driving around for about a half hour we finally found a public tennis court with lights. And boy were these some nice courts! Anyway, it was about 7:30 by this time. We rallied a bit and about 20 minutes later decided to try playing a set. 4 games in the lights went out. It was only 8:00. So we scrambled around in the dark and picked up the loose balls. After that we went back to her apartment complex and checked out her fitness center. I walked through some basic exercises to target certain parts of her body she's having problems with. Mostly I was just trying to help her avoid injuries. After that we played ping pong for about an hour, and by the end of it we were wippin' that ball around like nobody's business. Later we went back to her apartment and waited for her boyfriend to come home. I ordered a pizza and the three of us sat and talked for a while. At this point I should probably mention that they are both from Argentina and aren't 100% fluent in English. But they're great people and I had a lot of fun. I got out of there about a quarter to 12, and I wasn't thrilled with the plans I still had left for the evening. I knew tonight was my planned long run for the week. Luckily since I just started this program my long one is only 2 miles, so on my way home instead of turning down the street to my house I tripped the odometer and counted off 2 miles. I went home, changed, grabbed my stopwatch and pedometer and off I went. The book I'm basing my training on says that I shoudl run my long ones about 2 minutes per mile slower than I think I could. I was guestimating, and I know I ran too fast, because I came out to 17 minutes flat after 2 miles. 8:48 on the first mile and 8:12 on the second one. I don't think I could run 2 miles in 13 minutes right now unless I was being chased by Freddy. You remember Freddy, don't you? 1, 2 Freddy's comin' for you. 3, 4 better lock your door. etc. Okay, now I'm going to bed to kick Fredrick's ass.

02/22/02 - Remember that US Hisory exam I was cramming for last week? I felt pretty good about it afterwards. The way the professor talked to us I expected the grading to be butt fucking hard. He said a C would be average, as it should be. And considering I skipped half of the reading assignments and missed 2 lectures I felt like I would get a C, but I was hoping for a B. I got my exam back today. And with a perfect score on the essay I made a 99 overall. No shit!
I think I'm going to ask someone out at work. I'm not positive if there's anything there between us, but I'm to the point now where I don't even care if I get rejected. I mean, it'll just mean I'm still single. Big freakin' deal. That's certainly nothing new.
Week one of my marathon training is going well. Hopefully soon I can start up my new section of the site. Look for my progress photos each week, my body measurements, running times, training schedule, etc. I doubt anyone is actually going to care, but I'll have fun with it. I just bought an awesome heart rate monitor a couple days ago and it's supposed to arrive via UPS Monday, so I will update you on that next week.
Wouldn't it be cool to buy and old house in New Hampshire and fix it up? Okay, I think it would be, so you don't have to help. I'll do it all by myself. I already have most of the tools I'd need. I just kind of need money to buy the house and repair supplies, oh, and probably a job in NH or something. What the hell am I talking about? Jeez! And it's only 10:30.

02/18/02 - Since today is President's Day, I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate this nation's leaders than to go to Oshman's and Academy and check out some sales on sports equipment and apparel. I needed a new band for my runner's watch anyway. I also picked up some weightlifting gloves so I wouldn't develop calluses on my hands. Ooh, and then I bought a new pedometer because the one I got for xmas broke. Hey, and then, then guess what? I found some shirts and shorts on sale, so I bought some of those too, because I figure I keep sweating in them, and they get stinky, so I should have a lot. Anyway, I spent way too much money on this crap, but I got a lot of crap.
I've been thinking about getting a tan. You know, when you're skin turns light brown and you can't see the blue veins through your skin anymore? Yeah, one of those things. So I went to this place right down the street from my house to check it out. That stuff is expensive!!! They say it's unlimited tanning for a month. But basically the first month comes out to because of a membership fee, etc., and then you have to add more if you want to use the tanning beds that actually give you a tan. So it doesn't look like I'll be going back to that place. And you want to know the funny thing? No one who worked there, and none of the customers I saw who were using the place actually looked tan. They were almost plain like me. Oh well. I'll just be white.

02/17/02 - Those of you who have known me for a few years might remember when I was training for a marathon in 1998. A lot has happened since then to get in the way of my marathon goal, but my priorities are changing, and with no sight of a social life anytime in the near future I have decided to begin training once again. Checking the calendar at RunnersWorld.com I found a local marathon right in Dallas on December 15. That's 11 months away, which gives me more than enough time to train. I sat down and drew out a basic schedule for my running progression up to the 26.2 mile distance. I have also decided to go back to logging all of my measurements weekly, along with a polaroid to monitor my progress in appearance. Maybe in a week or so, depending on how school is going, I will open up yet another section to the site which will cover this. As always, feel free to email me with any questions, suggestions, or comments.
In case anyone is curious, my Valentine's Day was a flop, just as I figured it would be. My only present was a handful of chocolates from one of the male designers at work. Oh boy.
I continue to make friends with married women at work. Why do I do this? It's not as if we'll actually hang out or even talk outside of work. They spend their free time with their husbands. I spend mine with my computer, stopwatch, book, power tools, trumpet, etc. I just wish I could find a freakin' tennis partner, or someone to go out to a movie with once in a while. Ugh! Texas sucks ass!

02/13/02 - I had my first midterm of the semester today. Actually it was more like a 1/3 term. But I'm so tired of studying. During my 3 day cram session I promised myself I wouldn't let it get this bad for the next test, so I have to do a better job of staying on top of my work. Hell, I've only completed the first 2 out of about 12 assignments in my computer class. But it's cool since it's not all due until the final. There I go again.
Is anyone watching the Olympics, because I'm sure not. I used to get so into it when I was little. It didn't matter what the event was. Then again, we didn't have bullshit sports like ice dancing or snowboarding back then. I'm so glad they didn't show ballroom dancing 2 years ago in Sydney.
It looks like it'll be another 2 months till I can test for my blue belt. It helps if I actually go to my classes. Thankfully they're changing my class time from 7:00 to 8:00 in a couple weeks. That should make it a bit easier to attend.
Oops. Pizza's here!

02/10/02 - Do you ever just get tired of thinking about the opposite sex? I sure do. But that doesn't mean I'm going to start thinking about men!

02/05/02 - There be snow here!

02/03/02 - I met the love of my life today. Oh wait. No, that was just me daydreaming. Christ! How pathetic is that? Eh, oh well. I needed something after the Rams lost to the freakin' Patriots who shouldn't have even made it past the Raiders! Tuck rule, shmuck rule . . . fuck the rule!
Uh, The Spark added a new test. I'm guessing it's by the new guy they decided to hire instead of me. It's not bad. It's a laziness test. I scored 30%, which is less lazy than about 88% of the world. Not bad. I'm going to bed now.

01/29/02 - I'm trying to plan a move soon. And by soon I mean maybe this summer. As long as I'm in school I have no free time to go hunting for a place. And even if I found one I'd need a full day to move my stuff, ya know? Anyway, I think I'll actually be able to afford it by the summer. And then maybe with my own place my social/dating life won't be quite so pathetic. Yeah, that's my problem.

01/27/02 - I added 4 pics from my trip to Florida. Eventually I'll get more from that week up, but these were from my dad and, sadly, I could only find 4 worth posting. When my sister and brother get their's I might add some more . . . if you're lucky. For now this will have to hold you over.
I just went through my site and checked the counters in each section. I'm surpised by the numbers. My most popular page is obviously the homepage, because that's where most search engines link to. It tops the charts at 2,526 currently. Coming in happily at a close #2 is The Music, with 1,729. #3 was not The Photos as I expected. That section comes in at #4w ith 693. But what's really interesting is that 83 of those people have actually scrolled all the way to the bottom and noticed that there is a link to more photos. And for nearly 150 people seeing what I currently look like isn't enough. They checked out my baby pics too. And more than a third of those folks liked them enough to view the second page of baby photos. Back to #3. Can you believe that 775 people have sat and read some of this Online Journal? 176 sick bastards made it all the way back before May. The #5 spot is rounded out by The Poetry with just 178 hits. I actually thought this would be a little more popular. 2 newcomers, You Be The Judge, and About Andy, are in a sad state as of yet, but will hopefully gain in popularity.
Maybe I should persue prob & stat.

01/22/02 - I made some changes to the site. The layout looks a tiny bit different and I also added the "About Andy" section. This is just some basic information about me. I've taken the most common questions I get in emails and posted the answers there. If there's something else you'd like to see answered email me.
The poetry page is cleaned up so you don't have to scroll to the right to read half of the poems, and I'm no longer going to post my journal entries on the front page anymore. Because of the way Freehomepage defaults and resets your title and meta tags when you update pages it takes too much time to go back and fix it. This way I'll probably update the journal more often.
I finally told Tom to drop the Fan Club crap. I removed that section of the site a few weeks ago and finally told him to send out a letter canceling the whole thing last week. I don't think too many people will be disappointed.
My first week back in school went well. This week will be cut short so it's going to be another 5 days till I can experience a real school week. 2 of my courses are web based, which means I'll be online probably more than usually this semester. On is a computer skills course and the other a basic health fitness class. Now think about this, don't you think that if you can use the internet to take a university course that you probably have basic computer skills? This should be a breeze.

01/14/02 - Apparently I need to post more martial arts related pics. A couple friends have asked for them and now a friend of a friend of my brother wrote something in the guestbook, so I'll do my best to get those up here by the end of the month.
Today was the first day of my spring semester. Holy shit this will be easy. American History I, beginning tennis, beginning weights, health fitness, basic computer skills, and coaching football. Yes, those are all real university courses and they are all going towards my degree! books for my 14 credit hours totaled less than . That's a first! I spent twice that last semester for only 9 hours of music courses.
Last week a visitor to the site offered to pay me to write an original music track for a video game he was entering in a Gameboy Advance contest. We talked through a few emails and I got a good idea of what he wanted out of the piece. Then, before I began actual work, came the issue of money. In the past I know I said I would work for free. But that was before I only had 10 or so free hours a week. Now my time is far more valuable to me. This man offered for the single track. He stated that seemed excessive. Excuse me? I broke the news to him that was unreasonable considering the amount of time and skilled effort needed to produce such work. I compared it to tradesmen. Most of you know I repair furniture. The average going rate for a good furniture repair man is more than /hr. Freelancers usually go for +. It's like mechanics, plumbers, electricians, etc. Why should a composer be payed less for his/her time? if anything I should be payed more since this not only requires education and training, but usually something extra on top of that. I'm sorry, but any jackass can learn a trade. I did it. But not everyone can learn an art. So do I seem out of line for requesting a minimum of per track? I actually think the price should be considerably higher, but since all I'm doing is writing it and sequencing it to MIDI format and these video game offers I get are always small scale I feel it's nice to give a discount.
Okay, I'm done with that subject. I need to go out and buy some more athletic clothes. I have a feeling I will need several sets, for I will be stinking them up with health fitness, tennis, and then weights back to back to back.

01/11/02 - 12:45am. I must have absolutely no life to be online at this hour on the eve of my last two free days before spring semester classes begin. That's right, classes start back up next week and my life will once again vanish, consumed by that which we call school. Well, if it was just school I'd be fine. It's the friggin' job that gets in the way.
As most of you know, I've switched majors from music composition to kinesiology to persue a career as a personal trainer. I'll continue to write music and maybe will make money off of it someday, but I just can't stay in the program in North Texas with all of these fucking ass holes.
More to come soon. I have the next two days off of work, and since I have no life you can expect me to be on the computer a bit.

12/09/01 - I just got back from a Cowboys game. A Cowboys game. Me. I don't even like the Cowboys. Eh, but the tickets were free, and on the 48 yard line, so it was hard to turn that down. The game was actually pretty good. 20-13, Dallas over New York. But I froze my ass off. If you're not familiar with Texas stadium I'll fill you in. Basically it's like a dome with a huge friggin' hole in the roof, so you don't get any sunlight on you, and there's a constant breeze in your face. It was already in the 40s so the wind didn't help matters. Hell, it's 3 hours later and I'm still cold! Oh, wait. Maybe that has something to do with the heat in this house.
Anyway, I have no other news to report. But I would like to reflect on a couple topics that have been tossed around in my general direction recently.
"Let's give thanks to the lord above, 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight." What the? I'm so sick of listening to Xmas music!!! I hear it all day long at work. Could the Twelve Days of Christmas be any more annoying? And I like Harry Connick Jr. and all, but I don't give a shit what some girl you like is doing on New Years Eve! Oh, and Johny Mathis? Yes, it has been said many times and many ways, so please stop saying it!
I find it hard to get into the xmas spirit when I'm getting it shoved up my ass and down my throat simultaneously, 24/7. I'm not a grouch and I do really enjoy the holidays, but I'm one of those people who likes everything in moderation. Thank goodness this only comes once a year.
Oh, and if anyone out there is interested in designing a CD cover for me let me know. I have something in the works that is going to be completed very soon. It won't be for sale since it's all just going to be synthesized and not acoustic, but it should be a nice gift for some people. I am also working on a vocal CD, and again, it will not be for sale. I doubt too many people will be upset by this news. But again, if anyone is interested in designing a cover let me know.

12/07/01 - I'm still having problems with Freehomepage.com. My last 2 attempts to update failed, so I'm looking for another service to which I can transfer. I don't even know if this one will stick. I emailed customer service. Filled out their ridiculous form and everything, but have received no help.
My classes are over. I'm left with one final and a meeting with someone in the Kinesiology department. Kinesiology? You might wonder why. Well, I'm tired of studying music in a program that insists to teach it as a science rather than an art. I'm fine with studying contemporary composers I can't stand. I'm open to constructive criticism to my work. But it seems as if they want to take away the creative thought process . . . the music itself. I don't get the feeling that they really care how the music sounds. They seem only to care about the concepts. Well where's the fun in that? So I'm switching majors to Kinesiology to be a personal trainer. I will continue to write music however. I could never give that up completely.
I'm starting to wonder about some of my visitors. If you want to know what I mean, check out my guestbook. "Fukky"? I suppose if that makes you feel good to say those sorts of things go right ahead. I mean, it doesn't really accomplish or change anything, so I kind of feel sorry for you wasting your time. But maybe you have deep issues and this is a sort of therapy for you. I really don't know, but I hope you feel better soon. And for the person who signed right after him/her, why can't you leave your email or anything? I wonder if this is the same person who signed as such before. Okay, and what specific bad attitude? I've written so much around this site it's hard to tell what you're talking about. Could be in this "journal" somewhere, or in my music descriptions. It could even be in my poetry. More input would be appreciative, however it's not going to change me. I am what I am. And if you think I have a bad attitude, so be it. I'm actually a pretty damn happy fellow and much of what I say can simply be written off as sarcasm.
I have another belt test coming up for TKD in a week. Then one week after that I'm leaving for Florida to see some family for xmas and my sister's wedding. That basically means I have 2 weeks to finish my xmas shopping and gift making. Yuck.

11/28/01 - I had some problems with Freehomepage.com last time I tried to do an update, so I apologize if you feel neglected. It was not my fault.
I had my last concert band rehearsal of the semester today. Monday is the audition for spring semester. See, here's the thing I don't get. Next week is the last week of classes. The following week is "finals week". 3 of my 4 (yes, only 4) courses are wrapping things up next week. Why? I have that audition Monday, my written golf exam also Monday, and my composition Jury (evaluation at the midpoint of your undergrad course work) is Thursday. So basically we're losing a week where we could be learning just so the instructors can take off for vacation a week early. All but one instructor, that is. No, he saved the final for the last possible day, December 14th. So after my comp jury I'll have 7 days of nothing, then a night of cramming before I'm out of this semster.
But the actual news I have concerning school is about my major. I know I talked to a few of you earlier this semester about not persuing a music composition degree. I'm really considering that now. In fact, I'm seeing someone in the kinesiology department about that next week. Kinesiology, for those of you who don't know, is the study of human movement. It could lead to careers in personal training, physical therapy, physical education, coaching, etc. I'm leaning towads the personal training idea. It would also go along with my hopes of instructing martial arts. Kick ass! But do not fret. If I choose not to finish my degree in music I will continue to perform and compose. I could never give up music entirely. I just don't think I can handle having all of this crap force fed to me for 2 more years. That's right, I said "crap". So much of what I am being taught seems to be taking the artistic and emotional experiences in composing out of the process. We learn about people who write music with mathematical formulas, rolling dice, and thousands of other random ideas that produce sounds. It's music, in the broader sense of the word, but I feel that if you have to be educated for years just to begin to appreciate a particular kind of art then maybe it's not all that brilliant afterall. Sure, sometimes we hate a song when we first hear it on the radio, and then after we hear a story behind it or we just hear it more and more we might begin to like it. But trust me, very few people out there can truly say that they like listening to Olivier Messaien. The man tries to mimic birdsong. He has labeled specific notes and chords with colors, and uses this as a system, which I believe takes away from true creativity in his sound. He, like so many other composers, get caught up in the idea of their music that they lose focus on what it actually sounds like. I'm traditional in that I only like to write my music if I can hear it in my head first, and I like the way it sounds there. Sure, sometimes I will leave small aspects of a piece open to the performers interpretation, but you will never find me leaving decisions up to a pair of dice, or a dart thrown at chart on the wall, etc. My music is my own, and I will write what comes to me, just as I have always done.
Btw. It is very cold outside today. Ice and all. Me love it long time.

11/11/01 - I realize that the time between my updates is growing, but what do you expect for a site where 95% of the visitors don't even read this? If I got more freakin' attention from you people maybe I'd be more enthusiastic about the updates! OKAY??????
Freehomepage.com changed some features of their service. Basically, like Yahoo!, they just want to bait you with cool features that you don't have to pay for, then when you get used to that they pull the rug out from under you. My maximum file size has been reduced to 256kb, so a few of my photo links will not work now. I need to shrink some of those files down and re-upload them. Don't fret. For the most part I think it's just baby pics.
Are you a soprano singer or alto sax player in the Dallas area and would like to work with me on a composition? If so, email me. I have a stupid assignment to write an actual song. I chose a text from an anthology of Spanish poetry. It's not bad, but I don't have a clue how to go about this project. I really think it's going to blow curds.
I've had a nagging cold (aren't they always) for 2 weeks now, to the day. I'm taking medicine but the damn thing won't go away. I'm really tired of devoting 10 minutes every morning to blowing the snot out of my nose and singing the phlegm song to clear my throat. Oh, and it's starting to really piss me off because I lose my voice if I sing tenor parts. Oh, and let's not even talk about what happens when I sing along to my Bee Gees CDs. Or what about when I want to sing Paper Bag, or Crying, or anything else that might have required castration in the 15th century? What then? I'll tell you what. I cough uncontrolably and sound like a donkey.

10/30/01 - Andy needs a girlfriend. I haven't been on a date in more than 8 months. I haven't been on a good date in a couple years. Maybe longer. You know it's sad when I get depressed by watching "Say it isn't so". But you know what I figured out? And this is even more sad. I'm already in love . . . with love. A friend pointed that out to me 3 years ago but I didn't listen. She was right. But hell, who isn't in love with love? My big problem is that I already have the perfect woman in my head, and I don't think she exists. I want someone like me. Most people wouldn't be able to stand her, but I'd love her. A little egocentric on my part, you say? So the fuck what? It's my imaginary love life so you can go to Hell!
Now actually for some news. I finally got a car to replace my 1987 Chevy Celebrity. It's a 2000 Toyota Corolla. Not a fancy automobile, but it has a 5 year/75,000 mile bumper to bumper warranty and should last me till I'm done with grad school, if I choose to keep it that long. Oh, it's also white, which means I'm going to get it painted next year when I come up with some cash. I'm accepting donations. Please make all checks out to Andy Millott and mail them to my home address "Attention: Paint Andy's ugly car fund."
I'm working on a fitness article. Similar to the old dating tips I had posted for a while, but a thousand times better. I got so sick of comments from women asking me if that was how I really felt so I took it down. This is a serious article based on my current experience and methods of fitness. I am also undergoing another physical transformation for myself. Many of you know I used to run and was downright scrawny for a couple of years. This, of course, was after my childhood of obesity. Then last year I bought a Bowflex and toned up a little. Now I'm going into full bodybuilding mode. I have muscles on top of muscles popping out all over the place. I'm taking pictures of myself every 4 weeks to monitor progress. After a year or so I plan to post these photos for everyone to see. I must warn you, they're topless. Some of you women might need to grab control of yourselves. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you girls? I'm not hot. I'm barely even good looking. Why do you insist that I'd be a good fuck? Pardon my English but really! Stop giving me all of this undeserved attention!!! Actually, less of a hormonal warning and more for the sake of your eyesight, it might be a good idea to wear sunglasses before viewing my topless pics as I am very fair skinned and the gleeming whitness of my chest could prove to be blinding.
It looks like I will be returning to Florida this winter with my mom to see my brother, sister, her fiance and some other family as well. It will be just over a week total, driving both ways. My sister also plans to get married December 28th as long as the family is all gathered. It should be a hoot.
My brother is taking Taekwon-do. Have I told you this? Well he is. I guess it's on the Air Force base there in Boston, so it's free. I know he was into martial when he was little. Most kids are. But I find it strange that he waits till I start up TKD and then he tries it himself. Sibling rivalry perhaps. Or maybe coincidence. Hard to tell since I have usually been the one to follow his footsteps. I looked up to him for years. I worked hard in school so my grades could be as good as his. I worked hard in music so I could be as good as him. But this? I don't know. It feels so backwards. Maybe he and I can spar at Xmas.

10/13/01 - My plans to apply for a job as a writer at TheSpark.com came to an abrupt halt today after reading that you must have a college degree unless you have a great deal of experience already. I have neither. So much for that great idea. But I think they've moved from Boston to New York anyway, which is not as desirable of a place to live in my opinion. Still, if I could have finished my bachelors at Julliard that would have been groovular. So now it looks like I'll be sticking with plan Ll3c: finish bachelors work at crumby, world-reknowned UNT and go to a prestigious career as a musician.

10/3/01 - Today was my meeting with Cindy McTee, one of the composition professors here. In fact, she's one of the reasons I was so excited about going to North Texas. I was the last of 3 students to sit in front of the group with her and speak about my piece. It was a great experience. I got everyone's attention and respect. I even made them laugh (yes it was on purpose). At the end of my little session she said she was very impressed. I think she said "very". It feels like she said it. I hope that's what she said because that's a lot better than just "impressed". Then again, she didn't say with what she was impressed. One would assume she meant my music, but she could have meant my ass. I have a nice ass, you know. Okay, you probably don't know. But now you do.
Tonight was the TKD belt test. I didn't go since I've been missing so many classes lately. But I'm going to talk to the instructor and see if he'll let me learn both green belt patterns so I can go right to blue in 2 months. If not, oh well. It's not the end of the world.

10/2/01 - Monday of last week I turned in my first composition assignment. The teaching fellow practically ripped me a new ass hole. I have never been treated so poorly in my life. He talked down to me as if I was a complete moron. And I swear if he ever treats me that way again I will hurt him.
Yesterday I turned in my second draft of the work. I was on guard, ready to pounce if he slid back into super ass hole mode. But if I didn't know better I'd say he actually like the stupid assignment. Tomorrow I will meet with one of the actual faculty members and she will review my third draft.
In other compositional news, I have been getting quite a few nice emails from visitors. Thank you all. A couple people have asked me to write original music for them, and one other has requested to use some of my existing pieces for her site. Links will be posted when I find time.
Hair: mine is blonde now. I mean really blonde.
Is anyone else sick of hearing about these coincidences with the terrorist attacks? The one concerning the number 11 is what I hear about most. Today I saw that someone posted an email about it at work. And a few days ago I received an email with a photo of a man atop one of the towers with a plane in the background. People, this is a fake! You know what really concerns me about this? People really want to see this stuff. They have a dee fascination for it. A morbid fascination and it makes me sick. Why would you forward that picture to people? I admit that I did forward a short message about a coincidence with the terrorist attack and the wingdings font, but that was before all of this other crap started popping up and really began to bother me. I won't be surprised if the tabloids have information about the attacks all over their covers for months. They feed off of tragedies because you let them! When people first discussed the death toll it sounded almost as if they were routing for a high number. Like the worse the situation, the better. Does that make sense? Fox has been the worst. They were the network to continue non-stop coverage the longest. And they didn't do it to inform people. They did it to sensationalize the events. This is a sick country we live in. I am glad to see how people are pulling together to help the victims, but I am appauled at the way people are magnetically attracted to bad news.

9/24/01 - It's been over 3 weeks since I have updated this, but most of you can understand considering the circumstances. The work load in school is gradually increasing and I have already had an exam. Jeez, I forgot how quickly a college semester passes.
September 11th was my birthday. I wrote a short article about my views on that day and the nation's reaction since. It will be posted shortly.
Today I got back to bowling after a month off. Only a 110.5 average in 4 games, which is about 15 down form normal (I think), but I had fun as always. I thought I might have to go into work early today, but it turns out I ony have to put in 5 hours, so I'll put that off as late as possible. :)
Today I received an email from a computer game website asking me to write music for their freeware programs. They can't pay me since the games are free, but I'll get some exposure and that is very important to me, so I accepted the offer. When I get more information I will be sure to post and advertise my ass off.

9/06/01 - I apologize for the lack of updates the last week or so. School and work have taken their toll. I have one piece of advice, though this really only applies to males, I have noticed however that women are my primary visitors. Anyway, if you are going to begin a new work out program, especially one involving weights that will increase your size, wait to by dress clothes like suits and such. Last summer I bought a Bowflex (home gym) and have used it quite a bit. In the first 4 months I went from a 38 suit jacket to a 42. That was mostly muscle. Since then I've mostly worked on circuit training so the muscle growth has cut back, but I burned a lot of fat. So my body has been going up and down. I'm still a 42 jacket though. I bring this up because I have to wear a tuxedo for all of my concerts at UNT. I own a tux, but I bought it 5 years ago when I weighed 145 pounds. So it doesn't fit. Now I'll have to shell out another -300 for a new one.
I'm tired, but before I go I want to make one final comment on my poll. Only 6 people filled it out. 2 were partial. And to the person who recommended I throw out my music section, FUCK YOU! I think I know who it was. I always had a weird feeling about her anyway.

8/29/01 - I'm tired. 2 days of classes down so far. The classes are easy. It's going to work for 3 hours afterwards, then Taekwon-do for an hour, then throwing in 2 days a week working 13 hours each day. *whine*
My birthday is coming up next month. It's a Tuesday so I don't have any classes and I've made arrangements to take the day off of work. I want letters, cards, phone calls, etc. from all of you. If you don't have my address or phone number email me. Actually I'm kidding. It would be nice to hear from you all but I don't expect it. :P
I'm trying really hard to think of some other news to tell you but I'm coming up empty.

8/25/01 - Much has happened in the last 5 days. We'll start 3 days ago with my ensemble audition at UNT. Before playing a single note I was informed that this was just the first in a series of auditions. Up to 3. Oh boy. I felt pretty good about my playing considering I've been out of school for 2 years and seriously slacked off on the trumpet since then. Sunday (tomorrow) is my next audition. All of this is to decide which band I am placed in.
Thursday was my university orientation. That went fairly smoothly. Though when I stopped by the admissions office to make sure I was listed as a Texas resident for tuition purposes I was given bad news . . . and a 4 page form to fill out. So later that day I met with some dudes and dudets in the music department and registered for 10 hours of class. I don't want any more than that right now because a) I'm still working full-time; 2) I don't think I have that many credits to go, and I'll be here a few years anyway; and last) I'm paying for all of this out of my pocket this semester and my financial aid won't kick in till next year.
I was fortunate enough to schedule all of my classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. My band placement may screw that up, but I don't think it should be a problem. I'm going to request to be placed in the bottom band, regardless of how well I audition, because that's the only ensemble that meets MW.
Aside from my required music courses I am also taking a beginning golf class. It's only 1 credit, but it's 3 hours a week, so I'm getting a lot for my money. I know most people reading this probably think golf is ridiculous, but I happen to enjoy it.
Friday I drove back to the campus to turn in that Texas residence form I picked up the day before. After waiting for nearly an hour to see a counselor he told me I had to go get a Texas driver's license before he could change my status. YES, I lived here over a year without getting a new license. My Florida license still has the address from when I was 16. I've moved 6 times since then! So I had to drive all the way back to Plano so I could pick up my mom's car and take it to the DMV since I still have Florida tags on my car. I know I know. Leave me alone! It took her well over an hour to find her proof of insurance, and then I was off to the DMV. There I waited for about 75 minutes for a proccess that only took about 3, and . So once that was done I was back on my way to Denton. Again I had to sit and wait in the admissions office. This time with my better results. Once my status was changed one of the clerks walked me downstairs to make sure my fees were adjusted. Then I waited again, this time to pay for my tutition. And if that's not enough waiting there's more. I still had to get my books. Fortunately I only needed 3, so I quickly grabbed them and raced to the checkout line. There were only 40 or 50 people ahead of me, so the line moved at a blazing turtle speed. Or maybe a turtle in heat. I also managed to get my parking permit at this time. That only set me back another . But now I can park in about 45% of the lots on campus and not get ticketed. Ain't I lucky?
Around 5:00pm I made it into work. I managed to stick around for about two hours before starting to feel very sick from so much stress throughout the day. I called it quits and went home for the night. This morning I picked up where I left off and went in for 8 more hours of work. Weekends are very slow, so a big portion of my time is spent just looking for something to do.
Now on to other news. My survey doesn's seem to be very popular. Only 6 of you have taken it, and 2 of you only answered a couple questions. Why yoo do dat? With such a poor response on something which I emailed practically everyone who's email address I know I'm thinking about just canning the whole site. I mean really people. How many of you actually come here without me asking you to? It's just not worth all the work.

8/20/01 - Take my poll! Or survey. Whatever you want to call it. Just take it! So far in one day I have 4 participants. I really want to know what you people think. And please only take it once, and be honest. I have mentioned several times on here that this site was created to post music. Everything else is secondary. But if you're one of the people who doesn't give a shit about one of the most important and meaningful things in my life then let me know. If you're just so superficial that all you really want to do is look at pictures of me then let me know. I want these results to be as accurate as possible, regardless of my feelings. Besides, I already have a good idea of how things will end up. I will get confirmation that all of this work is for nothing and I'll just delete the site. Those of you who know me should realize that I'm a pretty optimistic guy. Okay, over the last year or so I've been a pretty optimistic guy. So when I say that I think something is going to turn out bad you know I have a good reason for feeling that way.
My back still hurts so I'm skipping Taekwon-do tonight. I can make it up Tuesday or Thursday night. No biggie.
I got my tax refund check today. I also dug up a savings bond I got back in 1994 from a the Rotary Club for a music award they gave me. And I am closing out my bank account I still have in Florida, which has about more. Woo-hoo! Now I think I can pay my tuition and buy food this month!!! :D I may even have enough money to buy a new sock!

8/19/01 - I added a new poem today. You have to go through the poetry link on the left column then click the link at the bottom of the first poetry page. Yeah, I filled up that page so now it's oozing to a second page. Look for it. "The Peach".
This will be my last week of freedom till December. I will miss talking to some of you. For others, this extra time I have to devote to school will be a blessing, giving me an excellent excuse to avoid you. :)
Today was grocery day. It's usually Saturday and Wednesday, but I was lazy yesterday with my testing and all, and put it off till today. I found some choice California peaches. The same ones I found last week. Mmm . . . they're yummy. For those of you who don't know, I'm becomming quite the freak of fruits. That, however, does not mean I'm fruity. Sorry, that's just my designer coworkers. But today I also purchased some Minute Maid Grape Punch. The one gallon container, which is in a lovely heavy duty purple, reusable container, cost only about 3 cents per ounce. That may sound really cheap when you consider a soda from a machine costs a little over 4 cents per ounce. But this is at a grocery store . . . for an entire gallon. It's the same price as the store brand orange juice, made from concentrate, which I always buy. My peach Crystal Lite tea ends up being less than 2.1 cents per ounce (Notice how much I like peaches. Ever chew peach Hubba Bubba? Mmm . . . or Peach Nehi? *sp*). Of course I have to mix that stuff up every time I want it, and I can easily go through a half gallon a day. Easily.
I know most "News" is supposed to be reports of important events and information in most people's opinion. But not in mine! Now I think I will go back to the living room and finish watching The Wedding Singer for the 57th time.
Whoopity doooo!!!!!!!

8/17/01 - I get the feeling I will be sparing a lot now. Tonight we spent about 10 more minutes on it. This has been a fun week.
One big bummer. I have to take a cheesy basic skills sort of test tomorrow morning in Denton at 9am. I can't register till I take it. It's a Texas thing. Now I get to waste who knows how many hours of my time, pencils, and of course the registration fee.
Ooh ooh ooh!!! But guess what? I might get to take a bowling class! Maybe golf too! Ooh ooh!!! And maybe even a football coaching class. Okay, not as many of you will care for the last one as much. I've always wanted to coach football though. Even if it's peewee.
I was thinking of buying a digital camera to post more pics. Pics of things other than me. But then as a friend pointed out, all most of you ever do here is read this and/or look at pictures of me. I created this site to post my music. So until hits to my music page start going up I'll be removing other sections to the site one by one. Look at the comments in my guestbook. Only one person mentioned my music at all. I got more comments on my poetry than that, and my poetry sucks serious ass!!! I'm not kidding. I haven't spent more than 10 minutes on a single poem in my whole life. I just throw those things together!!! Oh well. Maybe I should just take this whole site down. It't not like I'll be maintaining it much in another week anyway.

8/15/01 - Every morning when I wake up I grab the tv remote control and turn on the tube to NBC for the morning news. It helps wake me up and prepare me for the day. This morning they posted a list of the USA's safest and most dangerous cities. The town I live in, Plano, ranked #30 on the safest cities list. Dallas was somewhere in the 300s. Then I saw that Flint, where one of my buddies lives, ranked as the 4th most dangerous. Be careful babe.
Okay, Taekwond-do: Green Belt Class #2. Again we started out with a lot of Jiu Jitsu, which is fine by me. I matched up with a guy who started classes the same day as me, so we're pretty equal. Except he's been taking separate Jiu Jitsu classes for about 3 months now. That didn't seem to matter. I more than took care of myself. In fact, I did so well that the instructor asked if I wrestled in high school or anything. "No sir. Just standard family self-defense from a brother 5 years older." But that hasn't happened since I was about 10. And most of the time we'd punch more than wrestle.
After we finished grappling we through on the sparing gear and went at it for about 15 or 20 minutes. I have a feeling we'll spar like this most classes. It's a great learning experience.
My only injury tonight actually came during warmups. We crawled up and down the floor on our backs, only allowed to squirm and slither our way without using our arms. While I was going up the floor another kid was coming back and *SMACK*, our heads collided. I didn't think much of it at first. I was about to just move to the side and keep going, but I figured I'd check on him first. I looked at his face and asked if he was alright, but I could see he was crying. It was bad. I had to call the instructor over to help him up and shake it off. I have a knot in the back of my head but it doesn't hurt too bad. I have a hard head. Like that surprises any of you.

8/13/01 - Aubrey. That song has been stuck in my head for 3 days now. I've tried listening to other songs to get it off my mind. I've tried listening to it so much that I got sick of it. I've tried singing it till I couldn't stand myself anymore. Now I sing it without even thinking and I still like it.
I did upload some more pictures this weekend. I still have more that didn't scan right. I'll do them again sometime this week.
Some of you already know that I got my green belt last Friday. Tonight was my first official green belt class. We worked on Jiu Jitsu the whole time. Go figure. Go ahead. Go! Now, young lady!!! I only say that because most of my visitors are female. In fact, no males have signed my guestbook.
I bought a couple pairs of cotton athletic shorts last April for that martial arts camp I went to. After the first wash they both shrank. I knew there might be a little shrinkage but this is ridiculous. I still wear them around the house because no one here will be checking out my ass, which is being clung too like white on rice by these damn shorts.
I've been having the weirdest dreams lately. I think. See, that's just it. I don't actually remember the dreams. But today when I woke up I had these very unusual feelings about two females I know. I work with one of them, and the other was in my Taekwon-do class. I'm not particularly attracted to either of them. One is too old and the other is too young, for starters. But today I felt like I knew them really well for some odd reason. I don't want this to keep going.
I also had a very weird conversation with another girl from work today. It's one of my married/engaged friends. I'm probably going to play the trumpet at her wedding next year. Anyway, somehow we got to talking about a gal who used to work with us. Supposedly she's going to move out to Hollywood soon to work in movies. She just got done working in a Billy Bob Thornton movie in the spring. I don't know what she heck she did, but she worked and made a lot of connections. Anyway, she and I have buttloads in common, so naturally I was attracted to her. For those of you who don't know, or haven't picked up on it, I'm usually attracted to people who are like me. Okay, maybe I love myself too much. Back to my story. We had several deep conversations and every time I thought she was interested in me I'd get ready to ask her out, then she'd seem to ignore me for several days at a time. She's not the first one who has done this to me so I'm pretty used to it. Eventually I did ask her out to a ballet. She's a dancer and used to do ballet, and just a couple weeks before she told me that she always saw The Nutcracker at Xmas time but couldn't afford to go this time. So anyway I asked her and she said yes. Then a few minutes later she came back and said she had to check her schedule just to make sure because she was really busy. I believed that because she did have a lot of activities outside of work. She said she'd have a definite answer Monday. This was Friday. Sunday was the work Xmas party. If you check the photo section you can see my studly pic from that night. Anyway, I was getting compliments on my suit from pretty much everyone, even straight guys. Everyone except this gal, who's name I am not going to say in case you haven't noticed. Then she got up after about an hour, gathering her purse to leave, made her way over to me and told me how nice I looked. Not the suit, me. Blah blah blah. Yeah that meant a lot to me because by this time my crush on her was pretty damn big. My sister was at the party and heard her, and of course she got all googly asking about her and stuff, telling me we looked cute together. Whatever. Everytime I talked to her or even someone else talked about her I was amazed by her interests, talents, skills, etc. And I still have an enormous amount of respect for her. Again, I digress. The next day, Monday, came and no word from her about the ballet. I waited and waited and waited till Thursday, the day before the ballet and finally asked her again. She said no, she couldn't go. By this time I could tell that it was a lie. She just didn't want to go with me. Now to the conversation today about her. I simply mentioned that I never understood her, but I still liked her. The gal I was talking to said, "I never understood why she wasn't nicer to you . . . she had this thing about dating coworkers." First of all, I never told anyone how I felt about her. I had no idea it showed. Anyway, she alluded to the point that this gal actually was interested in me and I should get back in touch with her. So now I'm left with that. Yeah yeah yeah. I'm still interested in her. If you knew her you'd understand. And if you have half a brain you'd know I wouldn't write like this if I didn't care. But I'm certainly not going to persue anything romantic with her if she's moving to CA. She offered to play tennis with me once, and you probably know that I'm practically dying to find a regular partner. But I probably should just walk away, right? Okay, I'm not really asking you. Besides, I think there's someone else out there for me who's not going to jerk me around. I just worry if we'll have as much in common or if I will have as much respect for her. Gawd.
To end this rather long update on a good note . . . I'd have to make something up, and I'm not in the mood to type it out. Call me or stop by my house if you want a good story.

8/11/01 - Counting down my remaining days of freedom: 16. As each day passes it hits me harder just how little time I'm going to have. What the hell is the point of developing a social life in college if you have no time to enjoy it? So maybe I just won't talk to anyone. YEAH RIGHT! I'll have a few hours Saturday and Sunday nights, as long as I'm not overloaded with homework.
Okay, enough complaints. News:
I got my 10 free CDs from BMG last week. Bee Gees, Christopher Cross, John Denver, Fiona Apple, Bread, and Billy Joel. Several 2 cd sets. Laugh all you want. I don't like my ears to bleed from bass overkill or "shake it", "bump it", "thump it", "hump it", "do it", "screw it", "fuck it", "suck it" music. I'm an old fart on the inside.
Maybe if I don't feel too lazy today I'll scan some pictures. I have the scanner and maybe or so 15 pics from the last few years. I just have to set up the old computer because that's where the software is installed and I don't know where the freakin' disk is anymore.
I really ought to put more descriptive captions on my pictures. A lot of you email me with questions about them. But actually you could find a lot of your answers by reading these archives. Why don't you do that, eh?

8/06/01 - My ensemble audition at UNT is August 22nd, on a Wednesday. That's more time I'll have to take off of work now. I guess I should get used to it.
Bowling yesterday was alright. I also saw Jurassic Park 3. It was pretty weak. Planet of the Apes was the plan but it was sold out and I didn't feel like making another trip back for a later show. I didn't manage to get my mom out to that steak house either. Maybe next weekend.
It's been a little while since I have completed any pieces of music. Maybe I ought to concentrate on that some more, eh? I have also thought of another project to work on. This one combining film. Does anyone out there remember Bo Jackson? He's my all-time favorite athlete. His career faded away with a hip inury and many people have forgotten how great he was. I want to get together as much footage of his playing days and interviews with and about him as possible and make some sort of documentary. Oringal soundtrack included of course.

8/04/01 - I did quite a bit of shopping today. All for food. There's this little farmers market place thingy right off the expressway. They had some really good peaches, so I got a bunch of those. Then it was off to the grocery store and then Sam's. I'm well stocked now, long enough to last probably 3 weeks. Of course I'll have to reload on things like milk, bread and fruit, but otherwise I shouldn't have to spend more money on food for a while. That's good because it seems like every time I go grocery shopping I'm spending the very last of my money.
My legs are so stiff. I slacked off and missed martial arts classes for almost a whole week. Now this is my body's way of telling me to never do that again. It might be my instructor's way too. Once again I was picked on as the designated ass hole for sparing, and used as an example for several several techniques. But it's all good because I know he wouldn't pick on me if he thought I was a piece of crap.
My plans this weekend are as follows:
1)Take my mom out to a steak house because I spent on one of those discount booklets last winter and still have yet to use anything out of it;
2)Go see Planet of The Apes
3)Bowl tomorrow morning, as usual.
Ah, yes. My life is ever so exciting. Join me, will you?

8/02/01 - The piercing and tattoo poll was a bust. I set it to run through August 1st, so it's expired now and the damn site won't let me see the results. But just in my casual conversations with people on the topic I gathered that the majority of you were strongly against the earring and slightly in favor of the tattoo. I'm strongly against the earring after trying on some fake ones a couple weeks ago and stronlgy in favor of the tattoo still, in case you care. But why the hell would any of you? It's my body and the chances of any of you gettin' a piece of it are not in your favor. But you're mostly just my buddies anyway, so I appreciate your input. :) Really.
I'm going to take Erica's suggestion and post some photos of my artwork here shortly. I just have to borrow a digital camera again. But as I just mentioned in a recent update, I will not begin any new projects until I finish My-O Bio. And since I only have the first chapter and half of two more chapters completed you shouldn't expect to see anything new for another month or more.
Public schools started back up in Plano today. I didn't realize that I drive through 4 different school zones on my way to work. That turns a 20 minute drive into at least 30 minutes. Bummer. Now I have to leave the house even earlier.

7/30/01 - There's a new entry in my guestbook that seems to be a bit of a mystery. Seems someone wants to be my slave or something like that. Sorry, whoever you are, but slavery was banned with the 13th ammendment to our constitution, or something like that. The strangest thing about this is that freehomepage.com tracks each visitor to my site, and the IP number they have for that posting matches one of my online friends, and she denies writing it. I don't know why anyone would lie about it, so I have to assume freehomepage made a very strange mistake.
In other news, today while at work I was thinking about "The Wedding Singer". It's one of my favorite movies. Anyway, I was kinda singing "Growing Old With You" so myself, and it stuck in my head all day long. So when I got home I wrote it out and made a midi. Take a listen.
I feel good. I forget why. Is that important?

7/29/01 - I'm kind of tired of updating this crap all the time. But you people seem to enjoy this section more than anything else on the site, next to my pics. Sorry, I will not be posting any nude photos.
I have been going through the stat sheets this site keeps for me and I've noticed some things that surprise me. 6 different people have viewed this site for more than an hour straight! I never thought anyone would be that interested in anything I have to show or say. Actually I think I know one of the people. She spent most of that time listening to my music. I wish there were more people out there like her. She's probably the only person besides me who has actually listened to every one of those music files. Aside from that, I have also noticed that a lof of you are checking several pages on my site and even reading my guestbook, but you're not signing it!!! Why is that? You're obviously interested. Just take the extra 2 minutes and fill out the little form. You don't know how much I enjoy reading what everyone has to say. You don't even have to be nice. I admit that most of those signings are from good friends and therefore probably a bit biased, so don't feel like you can only sign if you have something positive to say. I want criticism. This site isn't awesome. In many ways it blowz.
I have completed at least a rough version of the first chapter in My-O Bio. That was something else I noticed. Over 70% of my visitors want to read my bio, then when they see it isn't complete they get pissed off and leave. So now you can check out a little bit and see what you think. Don't expect too much though. Like I said, it's only the first chapter, which is about the first 6 years of my life, and it's only a rough draft. I plan on editing it a bit more and adding more info.
Something else I feel the need to address because of various emails I have received is my dating life. If you read this site thoroughly you know I am quite single and have been for quite some time. Stop asking me to be your boyfriend! Especially if you're a guy!!! I'm not interested in a long-distance relationship. I was in one for two years and it fucked me up. Besides, do you have any idea how scary you women come off? You don't even know me. You've only looked at some photos and you think you like me? I understand some of you like the way I look, but please learn the difference between physical attraction and actually liking someone.
And speaking of my photos, I recently updated that section. I was searching on the old computer and came across some pics my mom scanned a couple years ago, so I uploaded them all to my site. Some are from high school and college, while others are from my days in Tennessee, which means more than 16 years ago.
I have decided not to begin any new projects on this site until I finish My-O Bio, but I am still taking ideas. One is to post my goals for the future. I figure so many of you ask about them I might as well make a small page where you can just read it. Another is to archive my dating/relationship tips and start writing short articles like that periodically. I kind of thought those things were silly, but a lot of you seem to enjoy them. I just hope no one is taking them too seriously. Come on, I've only been in one serious relationsip! And she was diagnosed to be clinically insane by her psychiatrist. No joke. The rest of my relationship history has been scattered dates, none of which I chose to see a second time, and a lot of pining in my younger days. And despite what my friends might tell you, I have no intention of picking up women in bars or clubs for one-night-stands. That's just not my bag baby. I have never tried casual sex but I just don't think it's something I want. Don't get me wrong. Like every other man I do want sex, but not that way. Eww. Think of the nasty blisters, sores, growths and discharges I could get.

7/22/01 - My brother was placed in the wrong training flight. I guess that's just what they call the specific group or program. He was put in the regular one instead of one for musicians. So now he's doing the first week all over again. The first week is always the worst. Now everyone in the family, and any of his friends we can find, are going to be writing him letters every day so he doesn't lose his mind. This is mostly coming from my mother. She's making it sound really bad. I'm sure he's doing just fine though.
His cat, Rocket, keeps following me around. At least he hasn't been attacking me the last couple of days. Actually today he just keeps plopping down in my lap. Sometimes I'll squirm a little or change positions to try to get him off without picking him up, but he just moves around with me to stay there in my lap. He's nuts.
I went bowling this morning. It was the first time since I jammed my finger in Taekwon-do early last month. In 4 games I averaged 123.75, which is good considering that I suck at bowling. In fact, I stayed over 100 all 4 games, and had a high of 158. Mini wave and celebration to me!
I drink a lot of Gatorade. That is all.

7/20/01 - Sorry for the lack of updates the past few days, but I have attended Taekwon-do class each of the last four nights and haven't felt up to updates. I will also apologize for the fact that I haven't finished the links in The Music section, and also haven't finished My-O Bio. I had a small bit of it posted earlier but the fact that it was incomplete was confusing people somehow, so I took it all down until completely finished.
I'm having second thoughts about the earring. I saw what I would look like with various kinds, and it's not exactly what I expected. The tattoo is still likely, however.
As feminine as this sounds, I'm really starting to think I might need one of those parafin wax spa deals. You know, those things that coat your skin with wax and supposedly soften and rejuvinate it. My feet aren't the lovelies they used to be before all of these barefoot martial arts workouts. So what if I'm a man. Does that take away my right to look beautiful?
Ever have a problem with a cat who acts and cries to you like it wants to be petted, but then when you try he/she just swats his/her paws at you and tries to knaw off your digits? My brother's cat, Rocket, is doing just that. I don't understand. I know he's only a year and a half old, but he wasn't like this for the first week, and I don't think he was like this with my brother. I understand he's just playing but jeez! Give it a rest already. I need a dog.
I got some spiffy leftover marble insert tops from work today. One is for an end/lamp table, and the other for a coffee/cocktail table. Now if I can scrape together some money for wood I can make a couple of nice living room tables. I have nowhere to put them right now, but that's beside the point.
With my tax refund and the money I have been putting in my savings bit-by-bit for the last 3 months it looks like I'll have enough to pay my tuition for fall classes. At least my student loan will be deferred again so that will free up a bit more money per month to pay my other debt! :P
That brings about a thought. I once made a short list of dating tips for women. Just on starting relationships. Nothing about making them last. Now I want to give guys some tips. This comes from many years of watching from the sidelines and then being thrown as starting QB in the NFL for a couple seasons with no experience, followed by a some failed tryouts with lesser leagues like the NFL of Europe and the XFL. If you don't understand that analogy then you might not get much use out of my tips.
Let's begin.

7/16/01 - I think I'm going to start playing basketball 2 or 3 nights a week. You know, one-on-none, because all my friends apparently have other things to do than play sports.
Everyone at work was asking about the cut above my eye that I got from TKD class Friday night. So now they all know to stay on my good side or I'll headbutt their foot!

7/15/01 - Today I decided to rearrange one of the rooms in the house. The one that has my computer and Bowflex. While doing so I had to disconnect my entire system and then set it back up again. I've done this several times before so I know what I'm doing and it's no big deal at all. However, when I hooked everything back up and turned on my monitor the screen stayed blank and no light came on to show that it had power. I check the cord. I tried different cords and different outlets. Hell, I even opened it up to see if the power supply in the back came loose when I moved it around. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with the thing. It was fine when I used it this morning, but after moving it the damn thing decided to shit on me. Now I am using my mom's monitor temporarily till I figure something else out. Let me tell you, when you have been using a 20" monitor for 5 months it sucks stinky hot dogs to go back to a 15", even if only for a short while. So I think I found a place in Dallas that might be able to repair it for me. I'll just have to call them up tomorrow and see, since they're not open on Sundays. I'm tired of all of these damn computer problems! Please, take my advice. Buy name brand, and buy from a local vendor. Never buy computer products online unless you're looking forward to many piss-you-off problems and tech support guys with thick Russian accents.
My brother's cat is really starting to tick me off and scare me simultaneously. I follows me everywhere I go. That part is fine, but he gets in my face insisting that I pet him, but a couple minutes after I start he changes his mind and decides he wants to play "Make the human bleed". It has to be his favorite game. Whether it's by teeth or claws he succeeds nearly every time. And the times the I choose not to pet him he just goes around the room looking for places to crawl, things to jump on, and anything dangling that he can pretend is a snake that he must kill. So now the place is an even bigger mess than before. And last night to add to the mess he has created the fat cat had a bad reaction to the canned food we've been feeding him and slowly puked out a weeks worth of food in about 25 separate spews. Now the carpet is like a minefield of wet spots of Resolve carpet cleaner.
I think I have my dirty laundry down to 3 super size loads. That's a vast improvement over the 7 load pile I had built up on my floor. Hmm . . . I'm looking at the two overflowing baskets of clothes now. Perhaps it's still 4 loads.
For those of you who have signed my new guestbook (all 3 of you thus far), I thank you very much. I always enjoy reading your comments. Even if I talk to you a couple hours a day.
There is a problem with my poll. I'm using an outside service to help make it simpler and more professional looking, but the damn site won't let me view the results. It's supposedly a cookie problem, but I've never had cookie problems at other sites. I think they're just a bunch of losers. So far what I have been hearing in informal conversations as to the questions on my poll is that most of you strongly support either the earring or tattoo while you are firmly against the other. Few people are taking the middle ground here. That surprises me. I didn't know my friends and visitors actually gave a shit.
Hopefully this update has been long enough. I am gonig to shoot some steroids and go work out now. When I return my muscles will be buldging and ripping through all of my shirts, my neck will have disappeared, and my testicles will be the size of baby peas.

7/14/01 - It's 1:12pm and I have been awake for less than an hour. We won't touch on why.
I did get the digital camera last night, and I have some news pics to post. I just need to look through them some more, do some cropping and such, then they will be up here. Expect to see them by the end of the day.
My brother called from basic training camp this morning. My mom spoke with him. Apparently he sounds horrible. They only allowed a 2 minute call, so most things are still a mystery right now. We do have his mailing address though, so I guess I'll be writing him a lot. Hopefully it wil help to make his experience a little less shitty.

7/13/01 - I'm hoping to be able to borrow a digital camera tonight so I can take some more recent pics for everyone. We'll see how that works out.
I'm still working on Ragnarok, in case any of you were wondering (and I doubt you were). Also in the works are 3 other pieces of varying styles. I'll post more info about them later when I'm not in a rush to get ready for Taekwon-do class.
I have retracted my recommendation of cyberpowerpc.com. Sure, they have good prices and fully customizable computers, but their service is incredibly horrible and it's not worth it. Spend more somewhere else and rest easy knowing that you have a solid system and if anything ever does go wrong their tech support will know the difference from their serial port and butt hole. These guys obviously don't.
(part 2)
Back from Taekwon-do class, with an additional cut above my left eye. I got to spar for about 20 minutes. Half way through my partner hit me in the face with a hook kicked right as I was stepping into him. I might wake up with a black eye tomorrow. No, it's not a Friday the 13th curse. The best part, however, was that the instructor let me bandage it up and keep going for another 10 minutes.
I still don't have the digital camera, but the night's not over.

7/11/01 - Ever notice how right after you work our you're all sweaty and your muscles are swollen and you look all pumped up like a body builder or something? Cool, huh? I'll admit, sometimes after my intense workouts I stand in front of the mirror to look for any noticeable changes. Of course any difference I see is usually gone by the time I wake up in the morning. But those of you who know me realize that I'm not a muscle-bound loser. On the contrary. I'm a regular loser.
My brother's in the Air Force basic training camp now. He got there yesterday. By now his head is probably shaved and they're teaching him how to fold his clothes and make his bed. Poor guy.

7/10/01 - Things are slowly getting back to feeling normal. There were a lot of weird things going on these past 2 weeks with a trip to Florida, then taking my brother's cat back with me, getting him adjusted, the softball game Sunday and going back to work.
Last night I decided to highlight my hair. Apparently those of you who only know me online by my scanned pictures think my hair is natural light, almost blonde. Actually it's about a medium brown. So I highlighted it for a change. I figured I'd had the same basic hair style and color since 9th grade, so it was time. Now along with the hair change I'm considering two more changes. I spoke of them both on this page a while ago and you can check the archives if you don't believe me. I think it was in February. Anyway, I'm talking about piercing my ear and getting a tattoo on my back. I want to do the ear fairly soon. Like before July is over. The tattoo will probably wait till August or September. Maybe a birthday present to myself. Anyway, that is what my poll is about. I want to know your opinion. Do you think they will look good? Do you have suggestions on styles of earrings or tattoo designs/colors? I will be posting the poll results as soon as I have a significant number of entries. They will be taken from this site, online chats, and real life. I'll post the opinion of every I hear from. Don't worry, I won't quote you without permission.
Anyway, about my hair again, I'll borrow a digital camera from work and get some pictures so you all can see the difference. It's pretty intense and just about every seems to like it, including me (and isn't that what's really important?). Which reminds me, the results of the poll will have no bearing on my decision. This is something I want to do. I just like to know how other people feel.
On another note, just after recovering from most of my other injuries I got another one in Taekwon-do tonight. While throwing a pad (we were doing this as a drill) I wrenched my arm and pulled something in my elbow. It's not feeling all too spiffy at the moment. I imagine it will be fine by tomorrow night as long as I don't use it too much. Hopefully I can lift weights with it soon because I've noticed a little shrinkage in my muscles since beginning martial arts. With 3 classes a week it makes it hard for me to fit in as much weightlifting as I was doing last year. Instead of 5+ times a week I'm down to 1 or 2, and that's just not cutting it for me. I have running singlet (like a tank top) on right now and caught a glance of myself in the mirror, and I look bigger than I feel. I'm not sure what that means.

7/08/01 - Tonight I played in the company softball game. I guess it's going to be an annual tradition now where we play the our rivals at Gavverts, another furniture store in Dallas. Only 4 people from their store showed up. We had somewhere around 15 who wanted to play, and another 20 who just came to watch. So we gave them some of our guys and gals. The team I was on won easy. After a while we stopped keeping score. My guess is that it ended somewhere around 35-19. As for myself, I guess I had an okay game. I rotated from third base to right field after one of our men pulled a hamstring. I think I only had to field two or three hits, which was fine by me. I batted 3 for 4, all 3 singles and scored twice. My highlight, however, was on the at bat where I didn't get on base. The pitcher already started some friendly trash talk with me because I was one of the only people who wasn't swinging at his shitty pitches. I waited for the good ones. Unfortunately it took him 3 or 4 pitches for just one to get over the plate (we played with a no walk rule). Anyway, after a while I got tired of waiting for a pitch where I could swing so I bunted right down the third base line perfectly. Then the centerfielder started screaming like a little girl, "No bunting allowed!" No bunting allowed? What the hell kind of rule is that? So I went back to the plate to take a real swing. I ended up grounding to first, but about 15 feet from the bag, so the race was on between the first baseman and myself. It knew it would be close. In my final steps I just put my head down and stared at that base. And at the same time came charging the baseman from my left side. We collided. My shoulder planted firmly into his chest. He fell straight to the ground and I tumbled sideways, somehow pulling off a back handspring to keep from rolling around in the clay like my opponent. They called me out, even though it was clearly a tie, and a tie always goes to the runner. And again yelled the pansy of a center fielder, but something new this time, "Interference! Interference! You can't take out the baseman like that!!!" You're damn right it was interference! The nerf herder got in my way and interfered in my tagging of the base. But I certainly can take out the baseman like that. Ever heard of Albert Bell, you numb nut? The runner is entitled to a clear path between bases. But I didn't actually care too much. I escaped from the wreck with only a minor scrape on my right knee, and a broken pin on my runner's watch, which holds the strap in place.

07/07/01 - So much has happened since my last update. Geocities deleted everything at my last site so I'm stuck doing everything again, mostly from scratch.
I went to Florida for 6 days and 5 nights to attend the wedding of two old friends from high school, see me roommate from college, and visit my brother before he leaves for Air Force basic training.
Lately I've been feeling the need to create, but I can't get anything out. Any motivation, inspiration or direction from visitors would be much appreciated.
It must be nice to be funny and make people laugh. I wouldn't know. I'm very serious and don't have the first clue of how to make a joke. I think one of the best ones I ever heard was on "Bicentenial Man": A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and asks, "Can you make me one with everything?" I laughed my ass off at that one, but anytime I repeat it people just look at me like I'm a moron.
I went to a pizza parlor tonight because I had some certificates for free food. Not food stamps. They were promos. Anyway, that efficiently helped pass an hour of the day. And I thought to myself, what a shame that I am now just looking for ways to make my life hurry by when not long ago I wanted to savor every moment. I have a lot of things to do too. That's what really gets me. Some of it is just cleaning and maintenance around the house, like hanging a painting I bought a month ago. It's just been sitting on top of the trunk I made and leaning up against the wall. Of course, I'll have to remove some of my own paintings from the wall to make room, but most of mine are ugly anyway. I have other things to do that are actually fun though. I just can't remember what they are.

06/21/01 - Taekwon-do class was great tonight, even though I re-aggrivated my left hamstring. I, along with three other students, got to spar for fifteen minutes. That's a pretty long time. It was fun, and I landed a hell of a spinning sidekick in my opponent's ribs and knocked him on his ass. Good thing the instructor didn't see it, though, because we were only supposed to be making light contact. I guess I got a little excited.

06/16/01 - I went to a friend's apartment tonight for a pre-wedding party. It was nice. They got take-out from a Mexican restaurant. It was mostly just family. I think I was the only friend on his side.
Tomorrow morning is the wedding. I'm playing the trumpet for them, of course. I mentioned this 5 days ago, but I have very little news in my life so I have to repeat things.

06/14/01 - I've been having some fun at hotornot.com. If you checked my pics section you probably noticed. I'm going to have all of my scanned photos rated there, just for fun. I think it's funny to see how wide my scores can vary since a lot of these pics were taken on the same day.
I'm not encountering some problems with going back to Florida for my friends' wedding. I was planning on staying with my old college roommate for a while, but he's really busy and will be leaving town right around that time. Now I'll have to make arrangements with my family in Florida. Ugh. This is getting to be too much of a hassle.

06/11/01 - Today a friend from work asked me to play the trumpet at his wedding this Sunday. He's already married, actually, but there was some problem with the marriage certificate, so they're doing it again. Last time was in Mexico. Now their families will be present. He's a good guy, so I told him I'd do it.
Yesterday I played softball with a group from work. The middle finger on my right hand was already injured, but okay to play. So I decided to injure my right index finger at well. Don't ask how. It was really dumb of me. This injury isn't as bad though.
I'm feeling quite odd this evening. Not sure why.

06/07/01 - I was the designated ass hole in TKD class tonight. After warm ups, some kicking drills, and run throughs of patterns for testing tomorrow we got to do some free sparing. only 7 of us had gear so the instructor had everyone spar me for 30 seconds. 1 blue belt, 1 advanced green, 2 green, and 2 yellows. I was so exhausted afterwards. Then I got to spar the 4th degree black belt instructor, but he wasn't going to make contact with me, just basically give me a target to miss. The good news is that I had fun and being the designated ass hole, as I call it, is probably a good sign that the instructors want me to get in as much sparing time as possible. The bad news is that I jammed the middle finger on my right hand. I'm going to stop typing now so I can ice it to try to keep the swelling down.

06/01/01 - I hurt my left foot in class tonight during sparing sets. That's different than sparing. In the sets you just throwing specific combinations of punches and kicks at a partner with very light contact and your partner is just supposed to stand motionless. My partner didn't. I don't know what he has up his butt tonight but he came full force with some blocks and landed his forearm on the top of my foot during a round kick. Now it hurts if I move it even the slightest bit. It's not a horrible pain, so maybe it will be gone when I wake up in the morning.

05/31/01 - I just got back from another TKD class. This one was great. I gave everything I had and it showed. No sparing. No contact at all. Just work technique and some muscle isolation workouts. I always want to stand out as one of the best at whatever I do. This is no different. And once again I think I'm one of the teacher's favorites. I'm the guy most of you hated in school because every teacher loved me, with the exception of the AP English teachers. I always avoided my reading assignments. Sorry, but at age 16 and 17 I didn't want to spend my time reading The Invisible Man, The Heart of Darkness, A Farewell to Arms, or hardly anything else we were assigned. It would have been wasted on me anyway. It wasn't until a few years later that I was able to appreciate those books. Actually, I still don't care for Hemingway. Talking to several friends from high school is bringing back a lot of memories. This has basically been my 5 year reunion.
Back to my point. TKD is going very well and I think the instructor is starting to notice me more. I don't think it's because I'm much better than anyone else. I think it's just because he can see the dedication and desire. If I didn't really want this I'd just quit. I'm the kind of person who rarely puts up with boring tasks. I'll always find a way around them.
Do you every get the feeling that while you are accomplishing a lot, you feel as though you are capable of so much more?

05/28/01 - Today is Memorial Day. How many of you even thought about it? I did, but maybe not as much as I should have. Most of my day was just spent around the house killing time.
Lately I've felt a lot warmer while at home. Sure, it's getting hotter outside but we have A/C. Maybe I'm just having hot flashes.

05/22/01 - This is nasty. I just got an email from someone asking me to do nude modeling for a rubber doll men are supposed to use as an alternative to sex. Say it with me. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

05/16/01 - I have 4 new bits of news, and they're all big (to me). I'll go in chronological order.
Last night I signed up for the Black Belt Club, which is a 30 month agreement to study Taekwondo at this center. Within that time I'm almost guaranteed to become a black belt. The club has a 95% success rate.
Second, I signed up to take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as well. It's another martial art, but doesn't concentrate on striking techniques (punches, kicks, etc.). Instead, it's based on the idea that most street fights are disorganized and eventually end up on the ground, closer to wrestling than boxing. You learn various chokes, body positioning, ways to break bones, tear ligaments, and all sorts of violent fun. I got to try it out at camp last month and really enjoyed it. I'm starting out with just one night a week for the first month and I'll see how it goes.
Third, I met with the composition department chairman at UNT today. He looked over some of my music and talked to me for about a half hour. This was just to determine my placement level in the program. I was placed in the third semester composition course, which is exactly where I left off. Instead of graduating in 2 more years it looks like it's going to be 2 1/2 because of a senior recital, which takes an entire semester. That's fine with me.
Fourth, an old high school friend called tonight. I have no idea how he tracked me down, but he did. That's 4 old friends I've gotten in touch with in the last few months. I'll see three of them next month at a wedding. The other one, I have no idea. I don't even know where her lives right now. I'll post more news as the situation develops.

05/13/01 - Today is Mothers Day. It's normally not a huge thing in my family because my mom doesn't like people to make a fuss over her, but this year she seemed to love it. My sister and I took her out for breakfast, then bowling, and then lunch. After that we rented "Remember the Titans" and "Meet the Parents". We watched the first one together. It was pretty good. I just got done with the second one a few minutes ago. That movie was very frustrating and quite predictable, but I still liked it. The end with the proposal made me all mushy. I always feel kind of funny when I see proposals and stuff in movies where two people are really in love. I'm a hopefull romantic.

05/12/01 - Okay, so I chickened out. I didn't go to the modeling interview. I just can't see myself as a model. That's really one of the last jobs I ever imagined I would be offered. Making money just for my looks? Give me a break. So instead I'll probably get a lot of things done today.

05/10/01 - It looks like I'll be back in Florida for a few days early next month. A couple of old high school friends are getting married and I thought it would be nice to see them. My college roommate might be there too. It would be fun catching up on things with him.
Saturday I have an appointment with a modeling agency. I don't know what to expect from it, but I'm basically just going to check it out. Even if they want me I'm not sure I'll do anything about it. I like having a lot of free time and more work probably wouldn't be a good thing. This fall I probably won't have time anyway. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's an evaluation. Then again, it was their scout who contacted me after seeing my picture. It's not like I went to them first. Anyway, snot a big deal.
The clearance sale at work is helping to make the days go by faster. But it's also taxing my patience. Some of these customers are ridiculous. I don't care anymore. It's just furniture.
I'm not ready for the next set of relationship tips yet. Keep checking back.


Continued